the guido of the week
Fist pumpers - email us your pix and vids
I've scoured the internet and sorted through tens of emails to bring you...The Guido of the Week! Enjoy.
Always happy to represent other places...
"Love the website I know that geographically most of the pictures come from the Jersey Shore, but here is a sighting in Chicago over the weekend"
Solid pic.
8/18/08
So apparently the phenomenon is the rage with Ze Germans these days according to one of our loyal fans.
"hey I'm mike on a friends address, theres this kid in Connecticut, who is legit Guido Fist pump material, heres 3 pics I got from his myspace on file. All I kno about this kid his hes a huge club head he works for the clubs, talks to mad gilrs but barely talks to dudes at all, hes german i think and he dances alot even when music isn't playing, he dances when he talks, he dances in front of girls, its pathetic, he acts very cocky and tans like every night
this dude is legit guido"
works for us.
8/10/08
(Video was taken down for last week :( sigh...)
Amazing Video fellas. Award winning in our book. We don't usually pick videos for Guido of the week, but we'll make an exception. Especially the mother daughter combo. Incredible. Curious? You need to watch this. Best email we've had in awhile. (sorry guys, I guess the guy who sent this video didnt make it and it got taken down, if anyone else who watched it can find it again, let us know.)
8/3/2008
From our loyal reader...
"Late night link stumbling is an under rated art form, somehow I ended up on your blog, and truly haven't laughed so hard in ages. Cathartic in its intensity really, the way that chuckling at the unbridled odd-ballness of others can cleanse the soul.
I realize that the vast majority of Guidos have no shortage of hair (and 'roid rolls),but if you're willing to take a short haired (and less than Mr. Olympia worthy) submission, boy do I have one for you. Pictures fail to truly capture the Guido-ness of this guy,but trust me, he's more Guido than half of NJ 'male' population combined (for example, at his sister's wedding he either flipped the bird or did peace fingers in every single pic he was in, much to the disgust and dismay of everyone else present). I've attached a few pics of this guy (including one with a hard core Guidoette) and hope that amongst them you can find a Guido of the week gem.
Keep up the Guido work!!"
Awesome email and submission. Thanks!
7/27/08
Weird!!! Serious ice in the ear though. How many times did you take this picture of yourself before you thought...yep...thats the one...I'm putting this one on the internet.
7/21/08
Now this is a serious crew. Individualyy, I dont know if you guys would have made it out of the inbox and onto the site, but as a whole, serious Guido Voltron power. Nice pic bros. Somebody fill us in on the 4 finger thing though. Is that like the new shocker or something?
6/30/08
GFP is stretching out our ethnic fingers once again with this week's winner. What a weirdo! Who is this guy? The email we received did not have the usual backstory (this guy at my school...blah blah blah...what a jerk), no none of that, just this face, in that jacket. Burning your eyes out. Enjoy.
6/22/08
Now is this some hardcore guidoisity. Something about this picture creeps us out, I can only imagine the guy on the rights opener with chicks. wow.
6/15/08
I guess Tito is down with a lil Guido. Beat that Kanye.
6/8/08
Killer Guido Action. You know that handshake isn't a sign of friendship, its merely a stability anchor for maximum muscle flexage. JUICE! Officially Guido of the week.
6/1/08
Alright which one is Tommy? The picture we were sent was called Tommy? Hopefully its you far right, you really brought the victory for you and your bros. I'm not sure what you're going for with that pose, but it's high energy. Its half way to Guidos Gone Wild. Trademark it!
5/18/08
Finally, some F*kin effort! Nice work broski. A motto the whole world can live by.
5/11/08
What are you guys 11? Take those damn sunglasses off and do your homework. Anyway, pretty hilarious guys. Nicely done. Someday when you're older you can show this webpage to your kids and tell them you made something of your young Guido life.
4/27/08
GFP is taking a little trip to the far east this week with our winner, the Asian Guido. Who said the Guido phenomenon hadn't gone international? Actually, for all we know this picture was taken in a Philly suburb. Popped collar, necklace hangin low low low like Flo-Rida says and epic sunglasses. Thanks for the solid submission.
4/20/08
Freakishly awesome, another big winner. Nearly mistaken for last week's winner as well. Wait, are they the same dude? No this guy is older and significantly oranger. Is that a word...oranger? Well, if not, we'll title this guy The Oranger and make it a word.
4/13/08
"She got you good bro. You hear what she just said? She totally nailed you bro. Burn. We're laughing, we're having some fun, we're rocking some Louis V, drinking some cocktails, we're getting in the F'ing Zone!!!
"
We got this email with no note attached. So we're only deducing what went on from evidence. Exhibit A=Major Douche 1 on the left. Exhibit B=Minor Douche 2 on the right. Obviously, Douche was just burned, and Douche 2 is laughing right in his buddies face and pointing at Exhibit C=Probably some chick who was making fun of him. There is also mystery Exhibit D=the person who took this picture. So to all you, well done, keep fist pumping and sending guido gold like this in.
4/6/08
After a week hiatus, GFP is back! And we're bringing you this gem. Our spring break update includes this straight from Greece. Take special note of the "pre-fist pump days" thumbs up. Plus, the dude on the bottom right is classic. Load up on your spray on tan, summer is almost here.
3/30/08
Most of you are probably already acquainted with this week's Guidette of the week, the infamous Belmar local hooker who took down the Governor of New York. That's how you do it NJ! However, we bet you've never seen her brother...Check this Guido out! Plaid Yankees hat...classic chinstrap stache facial hair duo, ridiculous t shirt, and nothing but Guido style. He's even smoking a cigarette in his tv interview. hahaha. love it. Thanks for all the emails this week, but we made an executive Guido decision. Better luck next week. Keep em coming!
3/16/08
This picture can only be described in one way "MUSCLE MILK!!!" I haven't seen that kind of rage since the days of The Ultimate Warrior. The chances of him not Guido smashing the next person who comes his way is slim. Thank you for the email and this glorious picture. Glad to share it. PUMP...PUMP
3/9/08
"I was passing by your site and i think you guys should add him as your guido of the week, he is the biggest guido at montclair state and a fist pumping Waynehead :)"
Not sure what a Waynehead is exactly, but we like it.
3/2/08
Thanks to our man E.W. for this glorious email. Well done broski.
"Came across this Guido-Douche and couldn't resist. Check out the poster I made of his lame ass. Love the site! Guido-fist-pumpers unite!"
2/24/08
CONTEST: What are these guidos saying? Post your response in the forum or send us and email to win a spot in our guido hall of fame.
2/17/08
Keep throwing it up fellas. Your fist pump is officially epic. Way to unite cultures in GFP. Well done. If this doesn't get you some action on Valentines Day, we don't know what will. Amazing artistry too ...(see below)
So Amazing in fact, its in tshirt form. check the store if you want one. (Available as a fitted shirt only, for true guido fist pumpers)
2 /10/08
Canada...trying to represent.
"This is my personal favorite Calgary Guido. As seen from his picture-hogging tendencies, this is a newly matured Guido. Recently having come of age, this Guido sets his dominance upon the female species through the special powers of his tongue ring. "
Good Email.
2/3/08
This was a personal submission and a clear winner. We don't even know where to begin talking about this one. Thick chains, crazy facial hair, and what a shirt, we should start selling those. Gotta ask though, are you in your grandmas bedroom? Please don't look us up and attack us.
1/27/08
Thanks to Keith for this one. PROTEIN!!!! Nearly matching shoulder tats. Classic.
1/20/08
Thanks for the picture and the quote, you're a double winner this week.
Which one is the guido here?? I think the one on the right has been taking the HGH
-Pale N. Luvinit
1/13/08
Better late than never...and to make up for it, we aren't settling for some amateur guido this week, not even just a pro guido, but Uber Guido world champ boxer Paulie Malignaggi! He'd kick your shore loving ass.
1/6/08
funny guido things
Memoirs of an Aspiring Guido, sent by one of our readers...
I have recently moved to the big apple from Winnetka Ill, a north shore suburb of Chicago. Winnetka is a place rich with Nordstrom Catalogs, Jeep Grand Cherokees, and soft spike golf shoes; sadly however, it is nearly void of guidos. I traveled here to NY City to seek my fortune and broaden my horizons. It was not until a group of friends that hail from the Northern Jersey suburb of Franklin Lakes led me on an expedition that would change my life forever. Much of the night was a blur; a veritable whirlwind of L.A. Looks hair-care products and manicures that would rival the Sistine Chapel. I look back on it now and it pains me to think that I went through the first 24 years of my life without ever knowing that grown men could wear colored sunglasses inside; without ever knowing that an IROC isn't just a car, it's a way of life; but most of all without ever knowing what it meant to be a guido.
It was the middle of August and I was in Manasquan, NJ. I had never been to the Jersey shore before, but 5 dear friends who needless to say all have last names the end either with an "A" or an "O" guaranteed me a great time. I had showered and changed in to my finest Anglo-Saxon outfit: conservative Banana Republic head to toe. As I sat in the living room I heard my friends arrive. Rather, I heard them start the car 3 miles away and drive to pick me up. I opened the front door and was greeted by about 200 decibels of pure bass. In Winnetka, the most anyone does to augment the appearance of their automobile is an occasional bumper sticker or even a textured steering wheel grip. This "ride"; however, took it to a whole new level. In front of me loomed a midnight blue BMW 5 series with those razor thin racing tires and chrome rims that looked more like serving trays than wheels. The iridescent glow of neon lighting from the undercarriage of the car perfectly accented the chrome howitzer sticking out the back which I can only assume was some sort of exhaust pipe. As I crammed in the back seat, I immediately discerned that my choice of outfit was a poor one. 3 of the 4 guys had on what appeared to be wetsuits and the fourth was wearing a skintight shirt with collars large enough that the car might have taken flight if we were to open a window while driving. The smell of Versace cologne was thick in the air as we approached our destination: DJais Nightclub in Belmar. After cruising by the line waiting outside 2 or 3 time we finally parked, turned off the stadium sound, and got into line. If the Incredible Hulk turned brown instead of green, then that's who I happened to be standing behind in line that night. The sheer size of the dudes waiting to get in this place was enough to make any 5'8 155 lb. Midwesterner a little uneasy.
I paid my cover charge and walked into heaven. First and foremost, allow me to compliment the women that flock to the guido. Within the first 2 minutes of being there I became convinced that women were created simply to wear black jazz pants. My friends and I stood in the back for a while downing Coors light by the fistful. They were busy looking hard and I was trying to look approachable. It didn't take long to figure out approachable doesn't mean jack sh*t when it comes to the jersey shore. It was time to get aggressive. What I didn't realize is that, unlike the typical pristine Midwestern girl, these Jersey Girls can dish it out. I was greeted with such pleasantries as "Get the F- away from me, Limpdick" or "You wish, jackass". I loved every minute of it. I finally met one young vixen named Tammy that decided my right thigh would be the perfect place to exhibit the benefits of a daily Thighmaster workout routine. Despite the miniature glowstick that was in her mouth, I still managed to kiss her goodnight. Inevitably, as the night progressed, the shirtless male population increased dramatically. Suddenly, I was surrounded by pectoral muscles bigger than my head and shoulders wide enough to comfortably rest a mid size family sedan upon. To say they were huge would be a gross understatement. I mean, I go to the gym 6 days a week and I even drink those protein shakes, but any guy in this place could squash my head like a peeled grape without thinking twice. Last call came and went, but before we left one of my friends had to exchange words with some guy that looked more like a freight train with highlights than regular human. I managed to not get involved and avoided the possibility of this man-beast turning my skull into paste. Back in Manasquan, I indulged in the house party scene until my chin hit the floor. I awoke with the right side of my face stuck to the linoleum kitchen floor of some beach house covered with keg spillage, plastic bankers club vodka bottles and , of course, other guidos. As I stumbled home I made the following pledge. Never again would I underestimate the power of the chain necklace. Never again would I have the audacity to step foot on the Jersey shore wearing any kind of shirt that had sleeves, and most importantly I realized, I had to get to a tanning bed, stat!
I used to mock the Guido. But that of course is jealousy. Why are we jealous? Here's a guess. The girls we hang out with like watching Felicity re-runs and wear shorts on the beach. The girls the guido hangs out with party like rock stars and have belly bracelets. The cars we drive are fuel-efficient. The cars the guido drives pull ass. 10 reps at 225 is pretty good for us. The guido did 10 reps at 225 when he was still breast-feeding. So the next time some gentile from Greenwich CT wearing a woven belt from the Gap and Khaki dockers looks down his nose at you, unleash one of those tree trunks you call an arm and turn his face into a Picasso. I can only offer a heart felt thank you to all the Guido's and Guidette's who aided me along this path to redemption. I may not be Italian, and I may not even be from Jersey, but rest assured that Dep hair gel courses through my veins as my heart pumps in rhythm with the bone crushing beats emanating from the Jersey Shore.
Brad originally from Illinois now New York
Official Wikipedia of the Jersey Shore
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore
Here's what Urban Dictionary says about da Guido
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=guido
Here's a sample...WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear. NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at "Bang Bang" in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.
and dont be this guy...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=benny
Here's my personal favorite Rick. This guy knows how to use hair gel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
A funny rant about Guido Juicehead fist pumpin etc
http://standingonthebox.blogspot.com/2006/06/juicehead-mating-ritual.html
A Great blog entry from Cajun Boy in the City
Here's the setup..."in a recent entry, i relayed a story of two guidos getting into a fight in a manhattan club over a myspace friend request that went denied."
http://cajunboyinthecity.blogspot.com/2007/02/guido-anthropological-enigma-of-21st.html
The Jersey Guido IQ Test. You got what it takes? Guaranteed laughs on this one.
http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=11&StoryID=984&LayoutType=1
guidofistpump.com was recently featured as guest web site of the week on slaptheface. They write a great blog, about all the people out there that you just want to well...slap in the face. check em out.
Oh and just for kicks, my ipod went to sh*t on me recently, but I found some great advice on this site.
Our buddies on the west coast came up with an awesome site dude! If you haven't seen the video on his front page, you have to check it out.
Even the most Guidoey Guido has to pick up the pieces of his life and get to work Monday morning to pay for the cases of gel needed to maintain da blowout. And the rims don't come for free either.
http://www.jobsearchcomparison.com
Breaking news
jersey shore emergency
Newsflash: Terrible spill still being cleaned up
Anonymous interview with NJ Shore partygoer
GFP: So where in Jersey are you from
Anonymous: Bridgewater, BW, Represent!
GFP: Yeah...Bridgewater...my aunt Millie lives by the Commons...guido fist pump
Anonymous: Ain't no party like a guido fist pumping party cause the guido fist pump don't stop.
GFP: What? Right... guido fist pump on brother. See you down at the shore house. Bring your hair gel.