Guidos animated fist pumping

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Guest Rant!

This is a GFP first, but one of our illustrious fist pumpers wrote up a rant to post and you know what, we’re gonna post it. Thanks to Andy G from Fringe Magazine for your commentary. Fitting for today.

——

In the current economy, many people are still struggling to make a living. Back in January of this year, the unemployment rate in Oregon was 11 percent. At that time, a spokesperson in the Oregon Employment Department said about 40 percent of new jobs will pay under $30,000 a year, and about 25
percent will pay over $50,000 a year. In other words, the lower paying jobs were growing more rapidly than the higher paying jobs. But if you’re a fist-pumping Guido who looks like you’ve been sunbathing on the surface of Mercury, never again will you have to settle for Fazoli’s when Olive Garden is really what you wanted. In a move as ballsy as that of the Friends cast, the Jersey Shore gang has ended their collective contract dispute with MTV. The cast, which includes such personalities as The Situation, Snooki, J-Woww, Pauly D, and Stephen Hawking (just kidding, though he has flirted with a stint on Celebrity Rehab), is now set to pull down about $30,000 per episode. Each. That’s disparaging news to someone working at The Container Store in Portland, where it will take a year to make the same amount as The Situation makes in one solid hour of GTL. For those who do not watch the show, GTL is Guido code for Gym, Tan, and Laundry. If you guessed Gasconade, Tabanid, and Languor, you probably shouldn’t be watching Jersey Shore. The show’s production company disagreed with the strike, and a source close to the show says if push comes to shove, they are willing to dump the cast and start from scratch. Does this mean it’s the end for Captain Abdominal? Maybe not. According to reports, MTV has already offered The Situation a one-time $60,000-$180,000 bonus if he signs on for a possible fourth season.
Huh?

For $180,000, The Situation can afford a 158-year membership to Crunch Gym, about 2,600 Level 3 Unlimited Month tanning packages at Half-Baked Tanning in Port Monmouth, NJ, and 138 top-loading washer/dryer combos. Basically, a metric Crapton of GTL. Maybe these exorbitant salaries will mark the beginning of the end for reality TV on MTV. Maybe the network will no longer have the cash to pay its stars because of the bar set by Jersey Shore. After all, wasn’t it Heidi Montag’s outrageous plastic surgery bill that caused such a horrible ending to The Hills? We wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to Jersey Shore, would we? Imagine the show ending with all of them going to college or getting real jobs. Scary! Not to fear, there is a ray of light at the end of the Cannelloni. MTV is almost out of money.

They must be, because earlier this week, MTV announced 30 new episodes of Beavis and
Butthead are in the works. Hopefully Remote Control isn’t far behind in the resurrection
category.
So I say Grazie, Jersey Shore, Grazie.

Driving Ms. Guido? 7/25/2010

driving ms guido

Is this like a headshot or something?  It’s pretty durn guido if I ever seen guido though, so congrats.  thanks for sending in.

Gagaa, not lady 7/11/2010

gagaa

We got a lot of BS pictures that don’t make the site, and think, cmon now, you dont think your actually gonna be the guido of the week do you?  But this, wow, what can I say, this is intense.  Slow clap for you Jesse Gagaa, clap…clap…clap.  for those who can’t read it, it says “Being a guido is like an addiction, it’s in my blood forever.”

Not a superdork loser 6/20/2010

“PUT ME AS GUIDO OF THE WEEK U NEED A TURE GUIDO LIKE ME NOT LIKE ANOTHER FUCKIN SUPERDORK FUCKING LOSER”

“imm the guido of the week im gianvouni maiorino im num 1 fistpumper outhere im moree riped than rambo”

Anyone who writes in all caps when submitting a photo for use must mean business, so jury is out if youre telling the truth.

BONUS POST: GUIDO OF THE DECADE CONTEST

You heard right people, we’re looking for the absolute best of the best pictures for a special upcoming project.  It’s going to be F’ing huge and you will go down in history as an epic guido or guidette.  Whether you’ve sent in pix before or have new ones waiting to be sent in, contact us today at guido@guidofistpump.com, send in your pix and be a part of it.  This is ASAP people!!!

3/14/2010 -ma ok this.

“¬†IM ON THAT WRECKLESS GUIDO¬†STATUSS ;]
ALWAYS BUGGINN 0_o.
AGE DOESNT MATTER TRUST ME =) IM OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT IM DOIN AND WHO IM SCREWINNN =P
¬†I’M SINGLE ;] wanna change that? BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS
IM THAT LAID BACK CLUBHEAD THAT GOES WITH THE FLOW ;]
CLUBBIN AND TANNINGG ALWAYS BOUT IT O_0
 I GUIDO PUMP LIKE THERE NO TMRO
SEX|CLUBBING|PARTYING|SHOPPING|MY BOYS|MUSIC ITS ALL I NEED ;D”

How do you guys come up with this stuff?

2/21/2010 – Boom

Check me out in the headband!  What are you trying to do sweetheart?  Take it off, no no, never touch a guido’s headband.

2/7/2010 – A Double Situation

“hey guys i love your site and i just had to submit about my friend. this guy is the ultimate guido in philly.¬† a typical pic with this guy includes: peace signs, slightly puckered lips, sun glasses, and suckering a girl into holding up his shirt to show off his abs”

You forgot to add TIMES 2!

First Jersey Girl of the Decade!

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Love it!  Keep up the great pics Guido and Guidette universe.  Gonna be another awesome year for my elbow as I fist pump in the new year.

12/26/09

whatthef

“This is a pic i found of a guido in the UK THAT HAS TO BE GUIDO OF THE WEEK!!!

The picture speaks for itself and shows that guidos are international. We have to put a stop to this.

I hate guido’s. They put shame on all italians. They are a disgrace and deserve to be put on an island somewhere and then have that island nuked.”

Relax bra, don’t have a heartache on us.  Just go out and have a good time one night and see what happens to ya.  Look how happy these ladies are, alright?